ice, ice, baby
...and Ben Kweller
Sometimes the unexpected is exactly what you wanted/needed. Sometimes the unmapped road is the most beautiful and will bring you the most pleasure.
The sunrise finds me this morning on the bank of the Seine, alone in the shadow of Paris. I am alone, but not lonely. I have nothing, but still I have so much more than ever before. Afterall, it is now. I am here.
One thing has been leading to another lately, and I have simply let them come. I was not alone today, and though the company was not of whom I had expected (and hoped dearly), I can not complain. I am happy, and I am fulfilled.
Looking back a year ago today (for I actually remember exactly where I was at that moment), I can not say that I would have expected to find myself where I am, both phsically and mentally. Though realistically, I suppose I have never realy been able to say that. I feel like I am getting somewhere though. I feel I am finally finding my place, finding who I am, and being comfortable with that. Maybe that’s what they mean by coming of age… I am twenty, afterall.
So, I am a day older and a day wiser, just like every day before now. But, I still have a long way to go. I still have many mountains to climb, and many rivers to cross. But unlike many times before, I am finally ready for them. I am finally ready to take what comes, whatever it may be, do what is needed and then step back.
This is the beggining.
I am learning the art of detachment. Only when I can become truely detached from my work will I be free. Then I can commit my entire soul to all things. I can allow it to be present in all my doings; used, but never used up.
For Ann:
I am wearing size 11 1/2 Royal Blue Converse, with bubble gum stuck to the bottom of my left heel.
