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some things are just never how you planned

23 October 2004, 22:14

A friend who is near is better than any other who is not.

I saw her today.

But still, things did not go as planned. How she hates my surprises! Alas, she is always quite busy, and unfortunately already had un rendez-vous avec quel qu'un autre.

Even so, I was able to see her face, beautiful as ever, framed by a French skyline. It had been some time I have waited for this... if only we had the time to be together longer! And if only we could walk hand in hand in this beautiful city and pretend not to care...

And if only...

There are many things I could wish to be different, but here I will only say that is was enough, and I am satisfied.

It is enough that I saw her face, and those eyes. Enough that when she saw me she wrapped her arms around me. Enough that she smiled so much (and even laughed a little). Enough that she is happy here. And, I am happy - because she makes me so.

And that is enough.

* * * * *

So, though I follow the same path, I find myself completely lost. There is something about her - being near her, even when I am not with her that sends my head spinning. I don't know if she wanted me around of if she is only putting up with me. And she gives me no clues. I don't want to feel like I am chasing her, or that I must run from her. Unfortunately, it seems I have no choice. Without answers, my head becomes crowded. I am left drifting, waiting, but nothing comes.

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