stop thinking, and end your problems
Other people have a purpose;
I alone don’t know.
I drift like a wave on the ocean;
I blow as aimless as the wind.
.
After an unsuccessful job search, and still with nothing to do and nowhere to go, I wonder, should I be disappointed?
To put it into perspective: I traveled nearly 1000km aiming to find work. When I arrived however, things were different than I had imagined, and perhaps I was a bit lazier then I thought I would be. Perhaps it just wasn’t meant to be.
So after, and unexpected contact from an old friend I travel back, nearly the same route, arriving just about 30km west of where I began exactly one week ago. So was it worth it? Did I waste time and money for nothing? I think not. Three days spent sitting on the beach on Lac Léman staring up at the mountains with nothing to do but think is a luxury not many people have. On one hand, I have no job and little money, but truly this bothers me little. On the other hand, I can cling to the last few weeks of summer in the warm breezes of the Mediterranean.
So, is this really where I am meant to be?
This thinking has been getting me into a bit of an existential turmoil lately. I have been wondering if I have been taking the right roads. I wonder if I am even going in the right direction, or if I am going anywhere at all. I wonder about the future, and which bridges I am leaving for myself. But I am here and I am now, what more is there? What difference between yes and no? What difference between success and failure?
Nan Ch’uan: It is not a question of understanding or not understanding. Understanding is delusion; not understanding is indifference. But when you reach the unattainable Tao, it is like pure space, limitless and serene. Where is there room for yes and no?
So, I am left simply to accept the way things are. Only by being free from all desires for the self can I find the one true path. Only by emptying my mind of all thoughts can the true light shine though. Only by remaining unmoving can the right action arise by itself.
If good happens, good. If bad happens, good.
Let come what may.
