i believe in yesterday
The first day of the new season brings a new chill to the air. And with the cool wind, my thoughts begin to drift far from here, as happens with the coming of each new season, especially autumn. One year ago, I felt a similar feeling. Then however, it meant something different; a change was coming, I would be soon returning to my love. This time, no change will come. I have no warm place to turn to, and I can only continue in the same direction until the sun once again warms my soul.
.
Last night, in the shelter of the old fig tree, beneath a blanket of stars, my thoughts wander.
Mapping the freckles and curves of her body, remembering familiar seas. I wonder, should I even walk here, should I follow such darkened roads? But, even though the lights are gone, the candle’s flickering flame smothered by such strong winds, I still know this place well. I can still recall every monument on this map, even in such dim light.
But as morning approaches, I am left exposed to the sun’s harsh truth. Day finds me perched on the freckle on the nape of her neck, floating in a sea of flesh without being offered even a single strand of her hair on which I can rest.
I can see clearly now that her memory still stirs much emotion in my heart. There is some large void torn into my soul when she left. But it is not wounds, bringing pain; and it is not yet scars. It is only a great emptiness.
I don’t know when this space will again be filled, or if it is ever meant to be. All I know is that I miss her presence, and her love. I can only hope that her thoughts turn to me even half as much as mine go to her.
And if only… just a few of those thoughts were fond memories, I would be satisfied.
.
Not a day has passed without some reminder of what is past.
