one step at a time
So, now I will again walk alone.
For I dwell in solitude.
But the word solitude is misleading. To me, being alone means togetherness – coming together of nature and myself, the reuniting of myself with all other selves. Solitude means putting the parts of my mind back together, unifying the pieces of my self scattered by anger and fear, until I can once again see myself clearly.
I live from one tentative conclusion to the next, thinking each one is final. The only thing I know for sure is that I’m confused.
Just when I think I have learned the way to live, life changes and I am left as clueless as I began. The more things around me change, it seems the more I remain the same. My life is based on a constant battle of ascent and regression. Unfortunately, my ascent or progress is based solely on the illusion that things will remain as they are, and that I have found some definite truth, some control.
But there will never be truth. There will never be endings, or definites, only new beginnings and new questions.
I am what I started with, and in the end I will be all that remains of myself.
